One Day at a Time

Here it is. The day I have been dreading for 3 months. My last day before returning to work. The dread has started even earlier than I expected. I couldn't fall asleep last night because I kept thinking about what it would feel like to have to go to work. Today was even worse. I used to hate Sundays at my old job because I would dread having to go to work on Monday & I'd think about it all day. I haven't had that feeling in a very long time, but I woke up today with a knot in my stomach thinking about it. In a weird way I'm just as worried about the "going to work" part as I am the "taking Adelyn to daycare" part, even though I have now been at my job for 6 years. I'm worried that it won't come back to me as quickly, or that very simply I just won't care anymore. How can I justify leaving Adelyn all day long to go do something that suddenly I can't figure out why it even interests me? Deep down, I know what everyone is telling me is true; just take it one day at a time, it will get easier, the first day will be the hardest, I'll fall back into a routine, etc. But none of that really makes me feel better right now & I don't think it's really going to make the ache in my stomach go away or fix the little part of my heart that feels like it's breaking. I'm sure I'll look back at this someday and think I was being very dramatic, but right now I feel like tomorrow is going to be one of the most difficult days I have had in a very long time and I just wish it would never come.

My Very Own Name

This week Adelyn got a gift in the mail from our family friends the Lewises. It is a book called, My Very Own Name, and it is one of the coolest books I've ever seen. It is a personlized book all about her name. The book starts,

"On October 28, 2009, the news spread far and wide,
'Did you hear?' the creatures said. 'A baby girl has arrived.'
Animals came to see the sight. They gathered all around.
We must create a name for her that has a perfect sound."

The story goes on with different animals spelling out her name letter by letter. We've only had the book for a couple of days and we've already read it to her several times. I have a feeling this is going to be one of her favorites. It is already one of mine.

3 months

Adelyn is officially 3 months old today. It doesn't seem possible that she is that old already and that my maternity leave is coming to an end. This week has been crazy busy for us as I'm trying to fit in as many fun things as possible before returning to work. We have done 2 trial runs at daycare for a few hours each and they went extremely well. Adelyn was very good for them and they are so sweet with her and that really helps me feel a little less guilty.
Here are some cute pics of Addy from today, showing off some of her new skills.



Playing with her activity gym.


Sitting up like a big girl in the bumbo chair.


Holding her bottle (but not having any idea that she's actually doing that).


Standing up with Daddy's help.

Giggles

Over the past week or so Adelyn has literally been changing before my eyes. Everyday she seems a little older and is able to do something she wasn't doing the day before. She is really focusing on objects and has even started to grab for her toys and hold on to them. But no change has been more enjoyable than the fact that she has started to giggle. On Sunday, Brian and I were playing with Addy and making funny faces and noises when all of the sudden she let out a big giggle. Brian and I both looked at each other as if we weren't sure if what we saw was real and then she did it again. It was so awesome. We then spent the next 15 minutes trying to get her to do it again but had no luck. She did do it again today and yesterday and there is no better sound in the world. When she giggles it's like her whole body is laughing and it's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen. It may have taken about 3 months to get it, but it is completely worth it.

Sleeping Beauty

I've read that it is not uncommon for babies to sleep 15-20 hours a day, however Adelyn has never slept that much. She's more of a 11-12 hours a day sleeper and her daytime naps are usually only between 30 and 45 minutes. Well, it seems in the last several days we have a good little sleeper on our hands. For 3 days in a row she took 3 hour naps and one night slept for 7 hours straight! I'm sure I'm jinxing it now by putting it in writing, but maybe this is her new norm. Here is a shot of her catching some z's with Dad.

Photo Shoot

Today I took Adelyn to meet Claire Marie who is only 6 days old. It's hard to believe Adelyn was ever that small (well technically she wasn't, Claire weighed a pound less than Adelyn at birth). I just can't believe how fast Addy has grown. It really makes me realize how fast the newborn stage passes you by & just how special it is.
Here is picture comparing the two adorable babies.



Also my friend Ginny was there to take some photos of Claire but was kind enough to snap a few of Adelyn as well. She takes the most amazing pictures. In about 2 minutes she did a better job of capturing Addy than I've been able to do in the hundreds of pictures I've taken in the last 3 months. Here are a few of my favorites.

3 am

Almost every night Adelyn wakes up around 3:00 am for her middle of the night feeding. I have always been the one to get up with her since Brian has been working and honestly it doesn't usually bother me at all. However, Brian and I have agreed to share the middle of the night feeding responsibilities once I go back to work. Last night during this feeding, I was thinking that I will really miss getting up with her at night. I know that might sound strange, but it has always been our special time together. Everything is so quiet and she is so sweet and peaceful and we've really perfected this feeding so usually it is pretty fast and easy. Usually.

Last night started as our typical 3:00 am feeding. She fed for about 15 minutes and then fell right back asleep. I burped her and then put her back in her crib. Easy as pie. As I was crawling back into bed I thought, I'll just tell Brian that I can continue to do these feedings, I'm not ready to give them up yet. Then not even 2 minutes later I heard her crying. I got up, burped her and she spit up all over onto the carpet. This wasn't anything new so I just cleaned it up, got her back to sleep and crawled back into bed. I looked at the clock and it was 3:31, not bad I thought, I can totally still do this. Then about a minute later I heard her crying again. I went in to check on her and sure enough she had spit up in her crib. I picked her up and just as I got her up toward my shoulder she spit up all over me and down my shirt. Awesome. I cleaned myself up, cleaned up her crib and rocked her back to sleep. I crawled back into bed at 3:42. Again, just a few minutes later she cried again. I went back in, picked her up and then just rocked with her in the chair until I knew she was really asleep. Finally I crawled back into bed at 3:56 and thought to myself, well, maybe I won't miss these night feedings after all.

The Countdown

I have started my official countdown to my dreaded "First Day Back at Work." I go back February 1st which means I only have 8 weekdays left of being home during the day with Adelyn. I am dreading it with every ounce of who I am and I actually like my job. I honestly never anticipated having this much anxiety about going back to work and taking her to daycare. My mom was a working mom and almost every woman in my extended family is a working mom so I always accepted that as the norm and never thought it would be an issue for me. But it definitely is much harder to accept than I expected. I'm sure I will adjust like all mom's do but the guilt has already started.

I feel guilty thinking about how much time I will be away from her when I'm at work. I also feel guilty thinking about how I just won't be able to work as many hours as I used to. I feel guilty that I won't be able to spend as much time with my "stay-at-home-mom friends" once I'm back at work and I feel guilty that I probably won't be seeing much of my other friends since I will want to rush home to see Adelyn after work. I feel like I just can't win, which also makes me feel guilty because I know how lucky I am to have a job that I enjoy and to have found a daycare that will be taking such good care of Addy. So I'm doing my best not to think too much about it yet and just enjoy every single minute of the time I have left before becoming a "working mom". Hah! As if I'm not one already.

Go Vikes!

I grew up a Vikings fan, so I know that heartache and disappointment comes with the territory. I know not to get too excited about how well they are doing, especially during playoffs. The better they are, the greater the frustration is when they lose. However, Adelyn is very young and hasn't experienced any true Viking's heartache yet, so she is really excited about their chances, was very happy with today's win and is looking forward to next week's game. I'm not sure how well she'll handle the inevitable disappointment that lies ahead of her.

Good Morning!

As I've mentioned before my day is basically a cycle of feed, burp, play, change, sleep and repeat (with several spit-ups in between every step). And we repeat and repeat this cycle about 7 times a day. It definitely can wear on you at times doing the same things over and over, but there is one part of the day that I always look forward to no matter how many times I do it and it makes me smile every single time. It is taking Adelyn out of her swaddle after naps and her night-time sleep. Mind you, Adelyn is not the best sleeper (she certainly doesn't take after her mother). She usually only sleeps for about 30 minutes per nap during the day and typically not more than 4 hours between feedings at night, but every time I take her out of the swaddle she gives me look and a stretch that would have you think she had been asleep for days trapped in the swaddle. It starts with one arm shooting up, immediately followed by the other and then a huge stretch arching her back and basically her entire body. She does this every time with the same intensity whether she was asleep for 5 minutes or 5 hours and I just love it. Here is my attempt at capturing her trademark maneuver over the past 2 days.

It always starts with her snug in her swaddle, both arms down at her sides.

One arm and then the other.

The long drawn out back arch.

The occasional "am I really ready to be up?" pause.

I just don't know if I can do this again.

OK, I'm up and I'm happy. Good morning!

I've Got Nothin'

I have started and deleted 3 different posts today. I just can't seem to make my words make any sense. Blame it on lack of sleep, blame it on the rain, blame it on a bad day, but I just can't seem to pull it together. (I have even had to retype these 3 sentences several times). But I do have some cute pictures with absolutely no story behind them so that's what I'm going with.

Babies!

Before having Adelyn several other parents recommended that I join a mom's group, I was a little apprehensive about it at first but now am so glad that I did. I meet once a week with about 9 other moms & babies & we just talk about everything. Our highs, our lows, our firsts, our frustrations and funny stories. I just love it. Adelyn is the "baby" of the group but all of the babies are within a few weeks of each other. It has been so fun watching them change over the past several weeks. Here are a couple pics of some of the babies hanging out, Addy happened to be sleeping through this photo shoot.

The Bald and The Beautiful

As soon as Adelyn was born we were trying to figure out who she looked more like, Brian or I. She didn't have red hair and she didn't have any obvious characteristics of either one of us. But right away one of the nurses commented that she had the same haircut as her Dad. Ever since there has been an endless supply of hair jokes comparing Brian to Adelyn. However, as they say a picture is worth a thousand words and I have to thank Brian's sister Heather for taking this one.

60 minutes

Before I write this, I have to warn you if you don't think the topic of dirty diapers is very funny this isn't the post for you. Also, I will have to add this to the list of things to apologize to Adelyn for when she gets older.
On Tuesday, just a few hours before it was time for us to fly out we were having a leisure afternoon at my Dad's. I had just changed Addy's diaper and remarked how it had been 6 days since she had had a dirty diaper ("dirty" not "wet"). This started a whole conversation about how long is typical for a baby to go, if this was normal, etc. I wasn't too concerned since I knew of a few other babies who had gone up to a week or 10 days, but it was shocking to everyone else that she had gone that long. I was willing to wait a few more days before worrying.
Then just one hour before we needed to leave for the airport I was feeding Adelyn and could tell she was working on something. I exclaimed "Addy is finally pooping!" A few minutes later I realized she was leaking through her outfit onto me. I rushed downstairs to get her out of her clothes and diaper and couldn't believe what followed. Always the good father, Brian followed me down to give me a hand. He took off her pants and couldn't believe his eyes when he got to the diaper. It literally could not hold one more thing. She was leaking out on both sides of her legs, her back and her stomach. It was disgusting. We were paralyzed for second trying to figure out what to do. Then we jumped into action and it was like we were at the scene of a crime. Brian removed his shirt to prevent contamination and then requested the wipes, I quickly handed them over. Instantly it was clear the wipes were no match for this job. He needed towels. I ran upstairs and found some old towels and handed them over. After he used them we determined they needed to be thrown away immediately. We tackled the diaper but there was still a onesie on her that was beyond salvaging. With serious consideration Brian then asked for a scissor. I ran to get one. I knew we had no choice. Then very carefully, Brian removed the onesie by cutting it off. We knew trying to get it over her head would only lead to more complications. After removing all of her clothes and wiping her with wipes there was still evidence of the crime everywhere. She needed a bath. We folded her up on the changing pad and carried her upstairs to the kitchen sink. This baby was filthy from head to toe and needed some serious cleaning. Without missing a beat, Brian gave her a bath in the sink and cleaned her off as best he could. She didn't even protest, she knew it needed to be done.
When it was all said and done we were able to finish her feeding, get her in new clothes, get me in new clothes, finish packing up and still get out the door in time to get to the airport. The whole way there we just kept discussing what we would have done if she had just waited just one hour more and all of this happened somewhere other than my Dad's. Even the next day Brian and I kept shaking our heads asking "what would we have done if this had happened on the plane?" I shudder to even think about having to try and pull that off in an airplane bathroom. Thank God for those 60 minutes.

Home Sweet Home

Wow. We just returned from a whirlwind of a trip back to the midwest. It was a fabulous trip filled with many firsts for Adelyn. Her first plane ride, first time in the snow, first time meeting her Great-Grandma Ruby and her new cousin Isabelle and so many others. We figured that on this trip Adelyn met about 40 new people and was held by just about every one of them. It was so wonderful to see so many of our friends and family and to have them all meet Adelyn. We really are lucky to have such wonderful families and friends. Addy was real trooper throughout the whole trip which was just non-stop. Here are just a few of my favorite moments from "the best Christmas ever."


Papa spending time with Addy.



Gramma reading Frosty the Snowman to Adelyn.


Tad and I with our daughters.


Great-Grandma Ruby with her youngest great-grandchildren.


Adelyn hanging out with her cousin Jack.


A group photo at the Everts. I wonder where Adelyn gets her height from?